Ep 7 - Apologizing To Harold For Cutting In Line With Petrie & Elsa's Facelift!

Ace and Josh finally return for a late-night recorded episode. We roast Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster’s Muppets makeover, mourn Disney’s Dinosaur ride going extinct, swap Jurassic River Adventure war stories, debate Tron vs. Hagrid, Ace spill line-cutting confessions (sorry Harold), does something unhinged much to Sahm’s disgust, and we even reminisce on our dear pal Petrie, hope things are well for you bud. We alap share an hilarious insider story about the lengths it took to finally get Frozen Ever After’s Animatronic the face’s they deserved. 

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Transcript

Intro & Late Night Return

Sahm 0:38

And we're back. It's been a minute since we've been here, at least us personally in our lives, to you guys. It's just another week. But we are back. And we are here with me, the host today. Josh. And my Don't say it like that. Not the host this time.

Ace 1:07

I'm tired.

Sahm 1:08

He's tired.

Ace 1:10

It's March 11th, where we're currently recording, and it's 11:30 at night. So I'm just a little sleepy.

Sahm 1:16

And I'm not. Welcome back to what are we called now?

Ace 1:21

You forgot our name.

Sahm 1:23

Just kidding. Lap Bar Lessons.

Ace 1:26

Dude, I was about to f you up.

Sahm 1:29

Language.

Ace 1:30

No. Not tonight. Tonight we're uncensored.

Sahm 1:36

Well, you sh I wish it.

Ace 1:37

Live on live on X.

Sahm 1:39

Jesus. What are you doing over there?

Ace 1:45

He's probably he's probably censoring me out, anyways.

Sahm 1:47

Nope. We're so going. We're so going.

Ace 1:51

A potty mouth flag. It's so good to be back. Welcome back to the pod, guys.

Sahm 1:57

Yeah, a lot of things. I don't want to say a lot of things.

Ace 2:01

I'll go ahead and say it, dude. It's just life.

The Muppets Are Taking Over Rock N Rollercoaster!

Sahm 2:04

I mean, life, no, I'll talk about the coaster world. Not a lot of developments.

Ace 2:07

Oh, yeah, no, screw what I'm saying. You're right.

Sahm 2:09

Not a lot of developments. I mean, uh Dinosaur, the dinosaur ride closed down. Oh, I can talk about that forever. The um American roller coaster shutdown. The what? The the roller coaster. The the rock the rock the Aerosmith ride.

Ace 2:24

Oh, the Rock and Roller Coaster? Rock and Roller Coaster. What are you okay? This is a good thing to start this off with, actually. Okay. For our listeners, in case you forgot. I I'm the one that's been to Disney. I'm not flexing that. It's just a thing. Josh hasn't yet. I'm curious. What are your thoughts about as somebody that hasn't ridden Rock and Roller Coaster? What are your thoughts on these news? What what how does this sound to you as somebody who's hearing an Aerosmith themed ride is being re-themed to the Muppets? How's that sound to you on surface level?

Sahm 3:01

Um on surface level is probably a good idea.

Ace 3:06

Are you aware of the Muppets Land closing? You got all the T on that?

Sahm 3:10

I believe so, yeah.

Ace 3:11

So yeah, like right o a land just right over on that. Yeah. The Muppets Land. They had a little they had a little 3D show, Muppet Vision. It was pretty cool, dude. It was fun. Um this was like one of their very first attempts at actually working with Jim Henson in the parks. From what I understand, I could be wrong on that. But from what I understand, and you know, we we have we have our sources. Sometimes they're correct, sometimes they're not. We just go off of what we hear.

Sahm 3:44

Except my sources.

Ace 3:46

Apparently. Yeah. Ethan, cut that out. Um, with apparent I I think I think it's a licensing thing. I think they're losing the licensing on Aerosmith.

Sahm 3:59

It's either they're losing or they didn't want to resign it. It was one of those two.

Ace 4:03

Dude, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm sure a lot of 10-year-olds these days do not know who Aerosmith are. Half the reason our generation knew who Aerosmith was, unless you played guitar or was following classic rock music, you knew who Aerosmith was because of Guitar Hero and Disney World.

Sahm 4:23

Well, I didn't know I didn't know Aerosmith was at Disney World until like recently.

Ace 4:27

Did you know them from Guitar Hero?

Sahm 4:29

Uh no.

Ace 4:30

So you had a family that followed rock and roll?

Sahm 4:33

Uh, I guess, yeah.

Ace 4:34

I grew up in the suburbs, dude. These kids listened to rap. They had no idea who Aerosmith was. They sucked.

Sahm 4:40

Yeah, I think I think I randomly heard I Don't Wanna Miss You, Babe. Whatever that song's called. And that was it. That's how I found out by Aerosmith.

Ace 4:48

I know our beautiful producer was listening to Aerosmith, though. Yeah, I know he's a real one. Oh. Put a flag there. We can't have me singing in there. I sang Aerosmith. So yeah, it's a the ride starts at, I'm pretty sure, a 60-mile launch.

Sahm 5:06

Yeah, it was the fastest ghoster at Disney. No, no, it's not.

Ace 5:09

I think it still is. I don't think anything's faster. It's I don't think Tron's faster than that.

Sahm 5:14

It's not. It's

Tron or Hagrid

Sahm 5:16

not.

Ace 5:17

I've ridden Tron three times. It doesn't, it's it's kind of mid. It's it's fun. Look.

Sahm 5:23

People trying to say that right better than Hagrid.

Ace 5:25

Look, I'm whoa, hold on. Chill.

Sahm 5:30

That's an opinion of someone that we both follow.

Ace 5:33

Dude, this is gonna sound so disrespectful. I'm I'm willing to suffer the consequences on this. I think if you're 45 years old and you've never ridden a roller coaster, I think Tron is the coolest thing you'll ever ride. Yeah. But if you're also 45, you know what? Let's not discriminate against age. If you're just if you're not a coaster person and you've ridden Hagrid's and then you ride Tron, I just I think you're straight bugging if you think Tron was better than Hagrid. Tron Tron's got good lights.

Sahm 6:03

Yeah.

Ace 6:04

Tron has really good lights.

Sahm 6:06

If I tell you whose opinion I who has that opinion, bro, you're gonna be sad.

Ace 6:09

No, tell me.

Sahm 6:10

It's it's it's a creator we both follow.

Ace 6:12

Uh we can bleep him out. Who is it?

Sahm 6:14

Andrew Platt.

Ace 6:15

Really?

Sahm 6:16

Yeah.

Ace 6:17

No way, dude. Really?

Sahm 6:18

Yeah.

Ace 6:20

Huh. So I think the whole gimmick with Hagrid is that a lot of a lot of theme park enthusiasts will complain about how they took a lot of really good flashy gimmicks from a bunch of other rides and put all of them into one ride. That's also why it's a technical nightmare.

Sahm 6:40

What, Hagrid's?

Ace 6:41

Yes. So like the drop.

Sahm 6:43

Yeah, very good. For Bolton. Yeah.

Ace 6:46

Uh spike. The vertical spike. Yeah. Uh, you know what? I I can't even reference what coaster it is, but that's also a coaster that something already put it this way, some somebody already did a lot of the flashy things that Haggard's doing. But with Tron, there's not a lot of people that are positioned on the way in Tron that I is am I could I understand what you're saying, but Tron's also like a minute long. I'm not gonna gatekeep. You're right. It is, it's very short.

Sahm 7:24

If that ride was like a minute, minute and a half longer, we're talking, we're we're probably talking about a fantastic ride. But I also can't really speak because I haven't personally ridden the thing, but you know, based on just what I'm based on like POVs I've seen, the track length, and the fact that I'm not the biggest like into Tron, like I'd ever watch any of the movies or anything like that. Like Kingdom Hearts 2 is my only exposure to Tron.

Ace 7:47

But yeah,

Jurassic Park River Adventure Stories

Ace 7:48

so the dinosaur ride closed.

Sahm 7:51

It did.

Ace 7:52

Alright, so let's let's talk about that. Shout out to Universal for being ballers and saying we still have dinosaurs. Amazing. Love them.

Sahm 8:03

Love them for that.

Ace 8:05

Ethan. When I took you to Universal, we we went on we went on Jurassic Park River Adventure, right? We did.

Sahm 8:16

That's the water one.

Ace 8:19

The only one with the T-Rex. Was it closed?

Sahm 8:31

That ride. You have you have ride for you have time for that ride.

Ace 8:35

No, when we went, it was like an hour wait.

Sahm 8:38

That's crazy.

Ace 8:39

For River Adventure, this is just veteran speaking here. For me personally, I think an hour is a waste of time for River Adventure. If you're a Jurassic Park slash Jurassic World fan and you've never done it, oh my god, please do it. It's so awesome. But if you don't like getting wet, you're gonna hate it. I don't know how I got you even on that, Red. I really don't even know how I got you on that. This is kind of fun. By the way, I don't know if anybody's picked this up yet. We don't have a lot of news yet. We're just gonna talk.

Sahm 9:11

Yeah, we're just we're just talking today.

Ace 9:13

We've uh for you guys, it's like a week later, but for us it's been almost a month. Yeah. So we're just kind of getting back in the groove of things.

Sahm 9:21

The groove. Um but yeah, you convinced me again on that one because you're like, uh, you know, your chances of getting wet are like kind of low. Like it's 50-50. I was like, I'm gonna take that.

Ace 9:30

I don't think I said 50-50.

Sahm 9:32

You know what I mean. Um

Shuttle Tips!

Sahm 9:37

answer it. Okay, sure.

Ace 9:38

Let's let's get it on live.

Sahm 9:40

Yeah, what's up? Well, you're watching Yeah, what's up? You're watching Kat Williams. What's up? Yeah.

Sahm's Mom 9:51

You've gotta be called.

Sahm 9:55

Okay, I I hear you.

Ace 9:57

Can I say hi to her?

Sahm 9:58

Yep, up. Alex says hi. Thanks. We're literally, we're literally we're live. We're live right now.

Ace 10:09

You wanna say hi?

Sahm 10:11

I don't know, I don't know. I don't know the mics. The mic's gonna pick that up.

Ace 10:15

Put her up here. Put her up here. Have her say hi.

Sahm's Mom 10:17

Yeah, I'm watching Cat Williams right now, where I want to hear and make fun of everybody. I need it.

Sahm 10:23

Okay.

Sahm's Mom 10:25

Thanks for answering. Love you.

Sahm 10:26

Love you too. Bye, bye.

Ace 10:29

Bye.

Sahm 10:33

Alright. You know, when mom calls, you gotta answer, you know what I mean? But yes, no, you're too you got you convinced me to go on river adventure because there was a chance I wasn't gonna get it wet, and I didn't know what my odds were, but I was taking the mods. And the first time it was fine.

Ace 10:49

Didn't I take we walk we talked to one of the ride guys, right?

Sahm 10:52

And then No, this was no the first time we didn't talk to a ride guy, really. The second one, when we went when we went for my birthday, we rode it like back to back. We we talked to the guy.

Ace 11:02

I remember I I remember saying, Yeah, look, the guys will even give you the reassurance. Talk to the ride conductor, they'll tell you it really just depends on where you sit. We went up to that guy and he just went, it doesn't matter where you sit, you're gonna get wet.

Sahm 11:18

Yeah, I was like, all right. I also waved. He's like, oh, hey, hey, wait a minute. I also did wave at the guy up in the box and he waved back.

Ace 11:25

Well, he was probably busy. He's probably working.

Sahm's Mom 11:28

Yeah.

Ace 11:28

Just gonna interrupt him while he's working. He's trying to keep you safe.

Sahm 11:32

It was before we launched.

Ace 11:33

No, he's being friendly. No, he's launching.

Sahm 11:35

I also I also waved at the person in the box when I rode Raptora. He waved back.

Ace 11:39

He he's very busy telling me. He's very busy telling you to put a flag there.

Sahm 11:48

You haven't finished both of those? I thought I thought I thought you had already done one. I didn't know you were on your side.

Ace 11:54

Okay. He was also probably very busy telling people to stop taking pictures of the sign at the beginning of the ride.

Sahm 12:03

Yeah.

Ace 12:06

If you've never ridden the ride, don't be surprised if when you're entering that grand entrance at the beginning of the ride where it's like, welcome to Jurassic Park. Hold on, you can't sing that, dude. We might get copy striked. He just sang the theme. There's so many times where I'm just checking myself so I don't say anything ignorant. People. I didn't specify anything. I didn't Josh is losing it. I didn't say anything. I said people.

Sahm 12:48

Ew people.

Ace 12:50

Ew people. For our active listeners, in case you forgot, we saw that we saw the Grinch. We saw the Grinch shirt that said ew people and we love it. It's our favorite thing. It's our favorite thing.

Sahm 13:03

I tried fun once. I hated it. I had fun once. I'm gonna get it next time we go.

Ace 13:09

But you'll get on you'll get on that ride. You'll get on the Jurassic Park ride. Is that still rolling? It is. You'll get on the Jurassic Park ride, and right when you get to that entrance where it's going, Welcome to Jurassic Park, usually that audio gets cut out from a ride conductor going, please put the cell phones away.

Sahm 13:31

Yeah, because people are trying to record with their phones on the water ride.

Ace 13:36

I don't know why I thought I was slick. Do you remember when we went on with Andrew and I put my hat on before the drop for some reason? Yeah, I don't know why I did. I just thought that was a good time to do it. And right before we dropped, they were like, please take the hat off. And I was like, sorry, I'm sorry.

Sahm 13:53

Yeah, and then we got splashing wet because of you.

Ace 13:56

Not because of me.

Sahm 13:57

Roberta was Roberta saw. Roberta saw. And she knew.

Ace 14:02

Roberta spared us the first time. Roberta spared us the first time, and then we went, let's go again. And then, well, not too much.

Sahm 14:11

I was down for it. And then and then we got drenched. Like I got hit with like two waves. I'm like, ah, alright.

Ace 14:18

Uh what time are we at, Ethan? No, not what the no, how much time? How long have we been on the air recording? Told me what time it was. It's like it's 1155. Really? That's it.

Sahm 14:40

Damn, it's feel like it's feel like it's a lot of things.

Ace 14:42

It's so long. We have so much stuff to talk about, I think.

Sahm 14:46

Oh, that's much better. God, we have so much to talk about. We can just make it 30. No. Okay. Alright, guys, here you have us for another forty-six minutes.

Ace 14:57

If anybody is working right now, thank you for choosing us to entertain you. We'll do our best.

Sahm 15:02

You will.

Ace 15:04

I will. I'm just here. I want to go to bed.

Sahm 15:11

And I want to ride Velocicoaster again.

Musk Tunnels & Park Tangents

Ace 15:14

God, I'll let that ride. Let's go right now. I wish. You think I won't? Man. Alright, so have you heard of these Musk tunnels? What's going on with that? I don't know much about it. What? Elon Musk tunnels. This is a universal Oh. It's the it's the Tesla ride.

Sahm 15:41

Yeah. Yeah. Cyber trucks are like the the the vehicles the ride vehicles.

Ace 15:50

The enemy is ketamine. Ah, watch out for the ketamine that's coming after you. That might be inappropriate, anyways.

Sahm 16:06

Oh god.

Ace 16:10

Apparently he's br apparently Elon Musk's, one of his companies. Don't quote me on this. I gotta stop saying that. I still gotta start doing my research.

Sahm 16:20

Yeah, because I have no idea what you're talking about.

Ace 16:22

He's he is in the everyone's saying the Musk tunnels. He's in charge of these new this new transportation system that's gonna get everybody from Epic Universe to the regular parks.

Sahm 16:34

Oh, I have seen about that. I didn't know Mr. Mu Mr. Musk was behind it.

Ace 16:38

Mm-hmm. Yes, anyways.

Sahm 16:45

Yeah, uh, yeah. Apparently it takes an hour and a half to walk from Epic Universe to the other two parks.

Ace 16:50

An hour and a half?

Sahm 16:51

Yeah. I watched uh TikTok someone doing it. By the way, it was seven miles, I think.

Ace 16:57

If you if you've gone to the parks already or are a first-time traveler and just need to get around, Ubers are quicker, but you can hop on a bus. That was always there. People forget that, but seriously, you can just get on a bus and it'll take you to each park and City Walk. And here's my here's my fun uncle tip of the day. If you're staying at any Orlando property, uh well, almost almost any Orlando hotel. This is I'm gonna say this is like an 86% success rate. In fact, I'll put money on that. Most of those hotels will shuttle you to Orlando.

Sahm 17:45

You're already in Orlando.

Ace 17:48

Most of those hotels will shuttle you to the park. Half the battle is getting up early enough to schedule the shuttle. And if you want to take the free shuttle, you just you gotta get up early, dude. You gotta get up at like seven or even six in the morning and get on that thing and get to the park. It's not gonna cost you any money, it'll cost you time.

Sahm 18:10

If it don't cost money, it costs time. Always. That's always in fact.

Ace 18:15

Get used to that. All of our active listeners, get used to the idea of our law of equivalent of exchange. This is the official Lap Bar Lessons Law of Equivalent Exchange. It's very simple. If you're not spending time, you're spending money.

Sahm 18:28

If you're not spending money, you're spending time. That's right.

Ace 18:32

Always. Everything is either gonna cost you time or money in the theme park travel world. Get used to it quick.

Sahm 18:39

Yeah, that was kind of sick. It was like Team Rocket, you know.

Ace 18:41

Team Who? Who's that?

Sahm 18:48

Prepare for trouble.

Ace 18:50

No thanks.

Sahm 18:51

Make a double.

Ace 18:52

No, really, no thanks.

Sahm 18:56

Oh my god, it's the guitar from the Aerosmith ride. No, it's not. That's an epiphone. Epipophat?

Ace 19:09

This is what I get. I I tried to act like I was ignorant to Pokemon and then he acted ignorant to music, so I I des I deserve that one. Pretty sure Aerosmith does not play Epiphones. Ethan, fact check that. Don't clown me. Cut that out if they do play epiphones. Cut only if I'm wrong.

Sahm's Mom 19:35

They're probably Gibson.

Ace 19:36

I think they're like super Gibson. Fact let's fact check it real quick. You fact check it.

Sahm 19:46

No. Air Smith.

Ace 19:50

I don't want to miss a thing.

Sahm 19:51

Hey, hey, Ethan. How how do guitarists call each other? Use their epiphones.

Literally What Is Your Problem?

Ace 20:09

Gibson and Fender. I was right. No, it's an epiphone. No. No. Guitar joke, guys. Anyways. Anyone that's listening that plays guitar, I hope that was fun for you. So let's talk. I'm ready to talk about the dinosaur ride.

Sahm 20:41

Oh yeah, we started talking about the dinosaur ride. And then we got sidetracked by Jurassic Park. Did we? Well, cause Dinothor!

Ace 20:50

Well, that's because Universal still has dinosaurs. Disney officially does not have dinosaurs.

Sahm 20:57

Uh-huh. They don't got dinosaurs.

Sahm's Mom 21:00

Yo.

Ace 21:01

I'm pretty sure the mics are gonna pick that up. Man, it's plucking away at the guitar. We got it. We got them all excited.

Sahm 21:15

What is your problem? Wait, what what we're we we're uncensored, right? We're uncensored? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Uncensored, right? Like I I can get I can I can I can get a couple flags in, right? Yeah, for now. Yeah, what the f is wrong with you? What what prompted you to do that, huh? It it would have been funny if you didn't just fing fart in my direction. Like you could have just turned turned other way. What is your problem? Are you 12? Are you 12? No, I'm tired.

Ace 21:56

What is your problem? Hold on, let's pause. Let's pause.

Sahm 22:00

Oh my god.

Ace 22:01

Real quick. I just want to hear it.

Sahm 22:02

Just pause. I just pause it. I just want to hear it. All right. All right. Sorry, guys.

Ethan 22:14

From all the pesticides.

Sahm 22:15

Yeah, we're in his brain out.

Ace 22:18

Jesus Christ, man.

Sahm 22:20

Like Femigation squad just left. Like, hold on.

Ace 22:22

No, be nice to me.

Sahm 22:24

No, you don't deserve it. We just had to call like a 318 on you.

Ace 22:28

In my defense, Ethan was plucking at the guitar, so I just started to pluck my ****

Sahm 22:32

What are you saying right now?

Ace 22:34

Ethan, cut that out. I'm so serious. I'm so serious. Cut that out.

Sahm 22:38

Did you say ****

Ace 22:43 Ace 22:43

I said pluck. Cut it out. God. I'm so excited about the dinosaur ride. Alright. We're just taking it.

Sahm 23:03

Are you deciding if you're gonna burp next?

Ace 23:06

No, that's nasty. I would never do such a thing.

Sahm 23:12

I just hope you know that Ethan just gave you the nastiest eye eye.

Ace 23:15

Good. That's nasty.

Sahm 23:19

Yeah, that's that's what's nasty. That's disgusting. Not farting into the microphone.

Ace 23:23

That's disgusting.

Sahm 23:24

I hope I hope you I hope you're getting pink eye from your own mic right now.

Ace 23:27

You are are you gaslighting me?

Sahm's Mom 23:29

You already did that to yourself.

Sahm 23:31

Yeah.

Ace 23:37

This is so stupid. It was a good call. It was a good call, guys. I'm gonna fart.

Sahm 23:55

Well, yeah. That where I whatever goes on in your mind to where that correlates, bro. Like that's crazy. That's crazy to me.

Ace 24:03

Hey, that's better than me fussing.

Sahm 24:05

Fussing about what?

Ace 24:07

I don't know.

Sahm 24:09

Whatever it might be.

Ace 24:17

We need to get you a mic. I hope that picked you up

Line Cutting Confessions (Sorry Harold)

Ace 24:20

soon.

Sahm 24:20

Oh my god. Bro, line cutters at Universal, bro?

Ace 24:28

You just fart on all of them. Dude, I think I think.

Sahm 24:36

So many people caught a line, cut like cut the line at like at Universal when we went. Like it was like obscure. Wait, what?

Ace 24:43

Did we actually have line cutters?

Sahm 24:46

Dude, there's no way that all of them were, bro. There's no shot. Literally no way. As many people that were cutting that like throughout the throughout our visit, insane. It's like, no, you don't have family up there. You're just lying.

Ace 25:02

Alright. You know what? Since this is the unhinged episode, let's I I'm I'm okay with telling if I want to cut this out later, cut it out. Let's talk about the stories of when I've cut in line.

Sahm 25:18

Oh, you're a pe you're you're a piece of garbage too. I was by myself.

Ace 25:22

I didn't care at the time, and I was younger. I know better now. I'm an adult.

Sahm 25:26

Like, were you a kid or a teenager?

Ace 25:28

Like two years ago.

Sahm 25:33

How old are you right now? 30. Yeah. Yeah. You are part of the problem.

Ace 25:40

Trust me, I I had a valuable lesson each time.

Sahm 25:43

Apparently not because you have more than one. I don't do it anymore.

Sahm's Mom 25:47

Did anyone say anything?

Ace 25:48

Yeah. Oh yeah. Caught red-handed. Yeah, they called me right out. Good.

Sahm's Mom 25:53

Staff called you.

Ace 25:55

Okay, so look. In my defense, can't can I just defend myself?

Sahm's Mom 25:59

Yeah, you can.

Sahm 25:59

You can try.

Ace 26:02

What happened was, first of all, okay, look, I'm telling you. If you guys are my boys, you'll you're you're gonna Josh. I will crash the f out, dude. I will crash out.

Sahm 26:16

Oh, Ethan can pluck a guitar, but I can't.

Ace 26:18

No, he can't either.

Sahm 26:20

But he did.

Ace 26:21

You can't play Jordan on expert on acoustic.

Sahm 26:26

I do understand that reference.

Ace 26:27

Good. What was I talking about? Oh, I'm a piece of cut. Alright, so look, in my defense, and I'm telling you, if you guys are my boys, you're gonna be like, okay, valid. Okay. I was in line for Fast and Furious supercharged.

Sahm 26:54

And you didn't take the single rider?

Ace 26:57

Bro, throw me a bone here. I was in line for Furious. And these guys were not moving. They were standing there going, ooh, auto parts. It's a rock of auto parts, my guy. You could go to Pet Boys and see the same thing in the freaking mechanic style. You don't need to see that at the music park. Move. So they're standing there just not moving. So I just went, I went around him. I went, alright, right? And as I'm walking, this guy says to his children, oh, watch out, guys. This guy's in a rush. So I immediately trying to be the good guy, I froze and just went, go ahead, man. It's not that serious. It's just Fast and Furious. It's really not that serious. I'm about to see Vin Diesel grab a helicopter. It's not that serious.

Sahm 28:00

A helicopter that he's like the same.

Ace 28:02

Oh, I got you.

Sahm 28:04

Yeah, a helicopter.

Ace 28:06

He's the same size as now here's where I messed up. Here's where I messed up. It's hard for me to have a have an attitude when I'm at Universal, but I was a little irritated about that. Because they just kept stopping. And it's like, dude, there's people behind you. Alright, I'll go around you. Okay, maybe I made a bad call there. It's fine. Anyways, he went, Oh, watch out, guys. This guy's in a rush. So I just froze and I said, Go ahead, man. It's not that serious. He walked by me, and I'm paraphrasing, but I think I said something along the lines of this guy. Or something like that, right? Something like, oh, this guy. He turned around and went, What was that? And I just went, Oh no, nothing, man. Nothing. Nothing. And then he walked by, and I was just like, Yeah, it's not even worth it. I'm not even gonna walk around people. I'm just so that that was my story of quote unquote cutting.

Sahm 29:03

Okay.

Ace 29:03

Immediately the guy got an attitude about it. I was like, it's not worth it. It's just furious. I'm not I'm not gonna get kicked out of the park over that.

Sahm 29:11

Good old furious. Rest in peace.

Ace 29:15

Um, so when I was 12 and I was in the line for Jaws, listen, guys, I was 12. I trust me. When you're 12, when you're 12, you suck. Every 12-year-old sucks. Let's just agree on that, okay?

Sahm 29:32

Yep.

Ace 29:33

I was 12.

Sahm 29:34

Okay.

Ace 29:36

I was going, hey Ma. Hey Ma. Hey, Ma, I'm walking through the line. Hey, I'm trying to get to my family member. There's no family member. I was just walking through. I was by myself, dude. Nobody was gonna call a little 12-year-old out. Well, this old guy, dude. This guy and his wife. Excuse me, young man. I don't think you're I don't think you're going to a family member. And I went, yes, I am. And then he went, where is he? And I was like, oh, he's getting on the ride. I need to get to him. And then he went over to a ride attendant, like, excuse me. This guy's cutting in line. And again, guys, this was like 2009. So the ride attendant went over and was just like, dude, he's just a kid, man. Relax. And then the wife was like, Yeah, Harold, it's really not a big deal. Like, it's just a kid. And then he he he really shrugged his shoulders, folded his arms, and went, all right, I guess he can just do what he wants. And you know what? Look, looking back at it now, like he was right. That man had every right to crash out over that. I was in the wrong. I was in the wrong there.

Sahm 30:45

So I apologize to Harold.

Ace 30:47

I'm sorry, Harold. I don't think that was even his name. It's probably Richard. Whatever. No, you don't cut that out. That's the name. No, that's a name. It's a name. Yeah. It's a name, penis.

Sahm's Mom 31:02

There it is.

Ace 31:04

I don't I think you could say penis on the radio.

Sahm 31:10

Wait, which one are you talking about?

Sahm's Mom 31:14

Oh my god.

Ace 31:17

Ah, he said it! He said it. Put a flag. Put a flag for the flag. He said penis. You wanted to do this. You're taking my sleep away. Actually, I'm wrong. I wanted to do this. You know what? I'm sorry, Harold.

Sahm 31:34

We have the option for Sunday. But Ethan never told us if he could or not. He just kind of was like, okay, guys, tonight.

Ace 31:44

So the only other time I cut in line was at Halloween horror nights. Again, I was a I was a young kid. I didn't know any better. I was like 29. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Seriously, Josh, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Sahm 32:05

Okay.

Ace 32:06

He doesn't believe me. Okay, I was like 25.

Sahm 32:11

Okay, there we go. There we go.

Ace 32:14

I was by myself. And look, just listen to this, listen to these stories and take these as lessons. Because at the end of the day, if you do stupid stuff like this, if a ride attendant or just a staff member sees you doing this, they will trespass you and kick you out. You can't do that. So don't do this. Seriously. It's not worth it, man. Just wait for the ride. Don't make me be unk. I will mansplain to everybody why we wait for all the good things. Don't make me do it. Good things come to those who wait. Anyways, I'm in the line. I'm just kind of slowly inching past people that are not moving. And this is like a two-hour wait line. So I'm just slowly inching past people. Well, wasn't a good idea. Eventually someone caught on. This guy just taps on my shoulder and he goes, hey guy, you might want to get the f behind us. I know what you're doing. And I was just like, oh, you know, I played stupid. I was just like, oh, man, whatever. And then he like just he just popped off on me. He was just like, can you believe this guy? He he had an attitude. He was not from Orlando. He clearly from the East Coast. I could, I could sniff it. He was just popping off. You know what was funny? He was like one guy with like six other chicks. And he was like the only guy popping off about it. And all the other chicks were just like, oh my god, Harold, it's not a big deal. So the reason I tell this story is because he called me out and I was like, hey, my bad. I'm sorry. Okay, alright. Caught red-handed. Fine. Sorry. Stood behind him. And then he just kept turning around and meme mugging me. Now I don't play with I don't play with that stuff. I'm not into that. I know I'm in the wrong here, whatever. The end of the day, it got to a point where I was just like, hey, dude, you can just keep walking. Maybe I maybe I started that. I don't know. But I just kind of was like, hey, you can keep walking, man. You don't gotta keep looking at me. Okay, I know what I did. He turns around and goes, Yeah, you gotta do something about it. Hi, you gotta do something about it, tough guy. Keep in mind, this guy was like five foot one.

Sahm 34:23

Oh, was he Italian?

Ace 34:25

I don't think so. I don't think so. He's pretty I don't think he No, he was a short guy. He was literally like at my chest looking up at me going, Yeah, you wanna do something about a tough guy? And all the girls He was the only guy, dude. He was just he had he had to be the big guy, I guess. I don't know. He's doing all of this, and I swear to God, by the time he's doing all that, we were at like loading bay equivalent of the of the house. He kind of just chilled out and was just kind of like, okay, maybe I overreacted. By the time we finished the house and we got out of there, I'm walking past him, and he's looking at me, he's like, hey bro, don't never do that again. And I don't know why, but I was just like, kiss. I had enough of that guy.

Sahm 35:23

I had enough.

Ace 35:25

Don't be rude when you're out of park, just be polite. It's a lot easier to be polite. Again, I'm telling these stories because you don't want to behave that way. None of those stories I was in the right. I think the only thing I was in the right for was when Harold was overreacting. Because, dude, why are you overreacting? I'm just a kid. Like, it's just relaxed, dude. I'm getting on the that was the last time I wrote Jaws, by the way. He really was sicing it. Like, bro. Oh my god. We haven't done this in a couple weeks, and I was like nervous to do this. And of course, here we are on the mics, all natural again.

Sahm 36:04

Yeah, farting into the mic.

Ace 36:06

I'll do it again.

Sahm 36:09

If you do, the episode ends.

Ace 36:11

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Sahm 36:15

Anyways. Um, do we So the dinosaur ride? Yeah, it's like it's a dinosaur ride.

Ace 36:23

I said ask me questions about it, I'll answer them.

Sahm 36:26

So, how do you feel about the dinosaur

Dinosaur Memories & My Dear Pal Petrie

Sahm 36:28

ride closing?

Ace 36:29

I feel how do I feel about it? Okay, so let's start with this. I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Disney World with one of my theater groups. Oh what? We gotta end the podcast now. I burped. I didn't do it in the mic. You should see how he's looking at me, guys. He's so dumb with me.

Sahm 36:59

I am as you're saying, you tell you a bunch of theater kids.

Ace 37:06

I had the wonderful opportunity of going to Disney World with my theater class from high school. Pretty pretty cool opportunity. I mean, expensive opportunity. I I had to save up a lot of money, and I had to I had to work hard at Wendy's to do that. I I worked so hard at Wendy's to go to Disney World, dude. It's not even funny. I literally was like, let me get a job, let me grind this money for Wendy's. Anyways, we went on over when we went over there. I had uh I had a little group I was hanging out with. Shout out to all those people. If any of them are somehow listening to this, you know who you are. I'm not gonna dox any of them though, because they were we're all pretty private people. Good people, good, good, good kids. They're all doing good stuff. Um, none of them are actors, by the way. None of them are acting anymore. Well, we rode dinosaur like twelve times in a row, and I have a picture of it. And you know what? Just for you two here, I'll go pull, I'll go grab that picture real quick just so you guys can see it. But here, tell tell tell the audience a little something while I go grab that picture real quick. This is fun. Good ride. We're gonna talk more about the ride.

Sahm 38:26

Alright, guys, we're gonna we're gonna uh leave we're gonna drop a poll after this episode drops of uh which host you like more, Alex or Josh. It is very important that you vote for me.

Ace 38:38

Dude, it's a relic now.

Sahm's Mom 38:40

Wow.

Sahm 38:44

Damn it on. What's up?

Ace 38:48

I have a photo frame from the dinosaur store from Disney World. It's now an ancient relic. Look at this. Look how fascinated I am with that ride.

Sahm 39:07

The aeropostal like hoodie is bringing it all together.

Ace 39:11

What does that mean? I wore that to fit in. I was an emo kid.

Sahm 39:20

What year is this, by the way?

Ace 39:22

2013.

Sahm 39:24

Yeah, that's the same year Augman came out, bro, and you're wearing an arrow pastel hoodie.

Ace 39:30

And we're back real quick. Yo, Ethan. I wanna get this live. Come come over here. You're mo just make sure you cut his name out, okay? Alright, you see that kid there? Take a good look at him, okay? No laughing, Josh. You seen Lamb before time? No? You never seen Lamb before time? So you don't you don't know who Petrie is? This kid sitting in this chair. Cut his name out. I called him Petrie. From Land Before Time. And the worst part, you might have to cut this part out, this might be offensive. But he would go. He would like freak out about it. And now that I'm seeing this dinosaur themed picture of Petrie in the picture, dude, it's sending me. It's freaking Petri. Oh, that's terrible, huh? I'm not gonna make fun of Petri, dude. Petrie didn't shower that whole trip.

Sahm 41:29

How long was the trip?

Ace 41:30

A week. Whole week he didn't shower. That's uh uh look, he he had he had some he had some he had some issues. He he like he's he like he's he's my age, he like still needs help doing things. He's kind of slow, so I'm not gonna clown him on any of that.

Sahm 41:51

But you need a lot of help doing things too.

Ace 41:53

No, I think it's messed up that my friend called him Petri. And then we've and then he found out that the kid had issues. We we might have to cut out all the Petri content, actually. No, it's fine, I'm kidding. No, we're not cutting that out. No, we're keeping it. We keep the Petri. We keep the farter, we keep the Petri. It's non-negotiable. In fact, we're gonna keep this too.

Sahm 42:54

Right.

Ace 42:58

If

Defunct Rides: Twister, Dueling Dragons, Elsa’s Facelift

Ace 42:59

you have never been to Disney World in Orlando, but you've been to Disneyland and you have ridden Isn Indiana Jones, guess what? You've ridden Dinosaur. Same track, same system, same effects, just no dinos. I think I think you lost personally. Indiana Jones is cool, but like maybe if you're like 60 years old. I'm I'm totally kidding. Totally kidding. Indiana Jones is cool.

Sahm 43:27

70 years old.

Ace 43:29

Let's be real though. That fourth movie does not make sense, and you're not gonna convince me that that movie makes sense. Trying to figure out the plot of that movie is like trying to navigate King's Dominion. It just it just doesn't make sense unless you are with somebody that's familiar with it.

Sahm 43:47

Yeah, I think Hershey's harder to navigate than King's Dominion.

Ace 43:50

They have a map. They got a whole GPS map.

Sahm 43:52

I mean, the app also has a map of King's Dominion, I still get lost, and Hershey Mark, and I still get lost.

Ace 43:58

If we're gonna make theme park. Expert content, we probably shouldn't be getting lost at these parks.

Sahm 44:04

It's not my fault.

Ace 44:05

I didn't say it was.

Sahm 44:07

Also, I I never claimed to be an expert.

Ace 44:09

So the weird part about that ride, dinosaur, countdown to extinction. Uh, if you weren't alive in like 2003, they made a movie of the ride. It was Disney's first attempt at a CGI only movie. It it I think commercially it flopped, but I think it has a pretty good hardcore fan base. But here we are, 2026, 23 years later, the ride's no longer a thing. The ride is, dare I say, extinct. Boo. That sucked. Get this guy out of here. So it was literally a dark ride. Like, you know, you you get on a dark ride, you see a bunch of moving scenes with animatronics. It's beautiful, except it's dark around the animatronics. So, weird premise, because you ent you you travel back in time and then you enter the dino world because you have to retrieve an original dino, which was the main character of the movie. And whole time you're getting traced. You're traced whole time you're getting chased by the Carnotaurus. I read something a long time ago that they couldn't use T-Rexes in the movie for some reason. So they used the Carnotaurus instead. Which is just a bigger, fatter, rounder shaped head of a T-Rex with some horns, if you ask me. Same little arms.

Sahm 45:49

Well, it probably because of the Jurassic Park stuff.

Ace 45:51

Probably. This was definitely a direct attempt to compete. But they just they couldn't do what Steven Spielberg can do. That's right. Amen to that. But regardless, the ride held up for the ride held up for 23 years, did a good job, but now we're now we're facing a weird problem with the park. Where now that that ride's gone, that's like one of seven rides that's not an Animal Kingdom now. That's a that's a problem. And in fact, we're dealing with that with a lot of parks in Orlando as of right now in March, early March. A lot of stuff is closed down, not working, or it's just out of season or being refurbished. There's a lot going on right now. If anybody asked me to this day, should I go to Animal Kingdom this year? No. No, don't go. Do yourself a favor and wait a couple years.

Sahm 46:54

I think the only park that's worth going to is like Epcot, and that's because there's like not there's like everything is like up and running.

Ace 47:00

Dude, even Epcot is under a very heavy refurb still. Of what? There's so many construction walls around that still. Because they're like, they're redoing the entire park. Because now I might be getting this mixed up with Tomorrowland, but from what I understand, Epcot is supposed to be what the future's supposed to look like. But Epcot's looking a little modern these days, so they need to they needed to step it up a little.

Sahm 47:32

Right.

Ace 47:34

New Test Track is there again. They have like the sixth installment of Test Track.

Sahm 47:41

The ride that keeps on giving.

Ace 47:43

Apparently.

Sahm 47:44

But man.

Ace 47:46

Uh Frozen. Frozen has Frozen had a facelift recently. Elsa had a facelift recently. That's horrible. So many little girls go to that park and go, I'm gonna ride Frozen ever after. And then they see those animatronics with the projected faces. Not anymore. So fun fact with that. They uh paraphrasing, don't quote me on this. I'm not we we never claimed we were experts. Yep. Yeah, we just talk about it. We're just we're just casual enjoyers.

Sahm 48:22

Enthusiasts.

Ace 48:23

Yeah, for sure. So they made Frozen Ever After, they made the Frozen figures, the animatronics, but then with the face mounts, they put a screen, an LED screen on the face, and then animated that rather than putting a full head on it. Then in uh in the in the Tokyo location, they made that same ride. From what I heard, one of the executives from America came to see the ride. You're gonna get a kick out of this man. He saw the whole ride and went, wait, you guys got faces? And then the executive from Japan went, Yeah, you don't? So then the guy from America went back and was like, guys, we have a really serious problem here that in in Japan, they full face models, and then they all went, oh no. Took them over a decade to put faces on those animatronics, dude. They finally got them. My cat just zoomed across the room. We weren't expecting that. Oh my god. In other news, um my god, we we went over the we went over the rock and roller coaster already. Oh real quick. People are going, oh power them up, it's gonna rock the rock and roller coaster. Well, I just got one proposition for you guys. Y'all have met Animal, right?

Stop Throwing Shade Hollywood, You Don’t Want The Smoke

Sahm 50:22

That's right.

Ace 50:23

I I think he's gonna kill it.

Sahm 50:24

He will.

Ace 50:25

I think we're putting a lot of pressure on Animal though.

Sahm 50:28

He'll be fine.

Ace 50:30

Dude, I'm really hoping before that launch we see him going, let's go, or something before the launch. But then it's just some silly little Muppet song playing during the ride. Who knows? I'm sure they're gonna make it fun. In fact, if you ask me, it's a pretty good compromise. It's a decent compromise. They take out the Muppet Land, they're taking out the Aerosmith licensing, and they go, Alright, fine, here it's Muppet Ride. Here you go, Muppet Coaster.

Sahm 51:01

God, yeah, it also just probably fits in the park better than Aerosmith at this point.

Ace 51:07

Yeah.

Sahm 51:10

Do you think they're gonna play Tokyo Drift on the Fast and Furious coaster?

Ace 51:15

I'm wondering if they're even gonna play music.

Sahm 51:18

I think this is gonna be on track audio for sure.

Ace 51:21

Did you see the launches at the LA location?

Sahm 51:25

I didn't see the launches, but I've seen them track it. I've seen that them like testing the testing that's dude.

Ace 51:30

The way they pivot and drift around the the like the whole the escalator in Hollywood. Oh, it's so cool. I'm I have a theory now that I don't think I'm I have a feeling that the Orlando coaster will probably stand out on its own. I don't think it's gonna top the Hollywood one. All all the people in Hollywood are going there, watching the launch, and going, man, why is Orlando getting this too? This was supposed to be our thing. And you know what I feel for them? They kind of they kind of did need their own thing. But you know what, guys? Screw you. You got Kung Fu Panda and Secret Life of Pets. That's a great ride, by the way. You're really you're not appreciating what you have, dude. We don't have that in the East Coast. Yeah, we just life Pets ride is so good.

Sahm 52:23

Yeah, we just have Velocicoaster in Hagrid's.

Ace 52:25

That's pretty good, though. And Epic.

Sahm 52:29

Yeah, Star Tracers.

Ace 52:31

We're gonna throw shade. And if you want to come to Epic, well, well, then come.

Sahm 52:36

No, but they have they have their own Mario, they have their own Super Nintendo land. That's basically Epic.

Ace 52:40

No, they they got they got Nintendo Land before Epic. And I will I will be the first person to tell you that the Nintendo Land in Hollywood is better in it than the one in Epic. The one in Epic is still too crowded. It's nuts.

Sahm 52:54

Yeah.

Ace 52:56

I can't believe I waited three hours for bat for uh Donkey Kong last time I went. I really waited that long.

Sahm 53:05

Yeah. I still haven't ridden it yet.

Ace 53:07

Oh yeah. I guess you haven't.

Sahm 53:09

No.

Ace 53:14

There

Sahm’s Terrible Defunct List (He Barely Tried)

Ace 53:15

there's so we're gonna wrap this up here by talking about some defunct rides. So Josh made me a list here of defunct rides. I thought this was fun because I wanted to see how much he would put in here.

Sahm 53:36

I put all of them.

Ace 53:37

I'm pulling it up here now and let's see.

Sahm 53:45

Here. What?

Ace 53:50

There's something missing. What is? Take a look. So we got stuff from Epic Studios.

Sahm 54:03

Yeah.

Ace 54:03

And we got stuff from Island.

Sahm 54:06

Yeah.

Ace 54:07

But there isn't anything from Epic in here.

Sahm 54:13

No. Why not? Because it's a new park. None of the rides have been discontinued or is this a bit? Like what am I missing something here? What's going on? Am I getting punked right now? Yeah. Am I being like gasless? Is this is this the bit?

Ace 54:36

I'm just messing with you. Oh. He made a defunct ride list for me, and I was gonna pretend that he messed the list up by not putting epic stuff. And I was hoping he would just react by going, What what do you mean? Sorry, that was fun.

Sahm 54:51

Yeah, for not me.

Ace 54:54

So we got our we got our defunct list here. Which one should we go over first? Well, he wrote Nickelodeon.

Sahm 55:02

That's because I don't know the name of the name is quite Nick Toon Blast. Yeah, Jimmy Neutron's Nick Toon Blast or something.

Ace 55:09

I wrote that.

Sahm 55:10

I didn't.

Ace 55:12

It was alright. It's it's the minion ride, it's just different s different show.

Sahm 55:17

Right.

Ace 55:19

Twister is not the same as Jimmy Fallon at all. Twister, you just stood there and you watched a whole show of anime. Watched a whole effects show. It was really cool. They had a whole tornado in front of you, and then the platform behind you fell.

Sahm 55:36

Oh.

Ace 55:37

Like at the end. Yeah, it would go. Like it would it fell like maybe five inches.

Sahm 55:42

That was pretty sick, actually.

Ace 55:43

There was like an animatronic cow that would go m that would just fly through the middle of it. My favorite fact about the Twister ride or show, Twister Ride It Out, that's what they called it. I don't know their names. Uh this is a little before me, I think. The actor and the actress that were in the movie. Can we get a fact check real quick? What were their names? Can you pull it up, Ethan? Twit Twister Cast. Yeah.

Sahm's Mom 56:16

Bill Paxton.

Ace 56:17

Okay, so that's what it was. Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt. They while they co-started that whole movie, they didn't get along that entire movie. In fact, uh for the show Q, where they're both on different screens talking to each other, they filmed those scenes separately.

Sahm 56:40

Oh, because of how much they disliked each other.

Ace 56:41

That's how much they didn't like each other, yeah.

Sahm 56:43

That's funny as heck.

Ace 56:44

I'm pretty sure they had to like kiss in the movie too, so I I can't.

Sahm 56:49

Ugh.

Ace 56:51

So we got Dueling Dragons on here.

Sahm 56:55

Yeah. I think their official name is Dragons Adventure, I think. I didn't put their official names. I didn't put the official names for all of them. Because I was committing a lot of it to memory.

Ace 57:08

It was originally Dueling Dragons, and then it was renamed a Dragon Challenge when they did it.

Sahm 57:11

Dragon Challenge is what it was.

Ace 57:13

That's when they did the Harry Potter theme. Yeah. Dueling Dragons was great because they had the near miss elements like Stardust Racers. But in one of those near misses, somebody's cell phone flew out of the pocket and hit somebody in the eye.

Sahm 57:28

Yeah.

Ace 57:29

After that, they never launched the rides at the same time again. Eventually they cut that ride down, turned it into Hagrid's motorbike, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Personally.

Sahm 57:42

Agreed.

Ace 57:43

One time Halloween Horror Nights did a dueling dragons themed house where you could pick between fire and ice. That was pretty cool.

Sahm 57:50

Which one did you pick?

Ace 57:51

I picked ice.

Sahm 57:52

That's the one I would pick too.

Ace 57:53

You know, I like red more, but I just went with ice. That's wild. You know what, dude? We gotta end the episode. It's been fun, guys. Thank you so much for sticking with us. It's been real. We will see you next week. I gotta I gotta call it out after that.